What do you think of when you see that word?
Do you cringe and immediately feel inferior? Do you imagine someone who “isn’t as good as you” and smile because you feel superior? Maybe you think of scrolling social media and feeling the weight of not measuring up?
Whatever you’re imagining….the word “comparing” probably has a negative connotation.
So why do we feel the need to compare? Haven’t we all heard the phrase “There’s always someone better, smarter, healthier, etc.”
Yes. And there’s merit to that quote. It’s important to remember that being the best at anything is actually impossible. That to be our best is what matters.
But, how do we program our minds to go from comparing to loving and connecting with others? From judging and criticizing to empathizing and understanding others? From envying to celebrating the victories of others?
1). You have to realize when you compare.
Is it when you’re not sure about who you are as a person and how you measure up? Do you compare when you need validation? To make yourself feel better? To motivate you to be better? To feel sorry for yourself?
2). Practice self-control.
The next time you begin to compare anything and everything from ability, health, family, wealth, intelligence, character, appeal, etc. take a step back and remember that you aren’t them. You are you.
Dr. Seuss said it best, “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.”
3). Compare yourself to yourself.
Are you where you want to be in school or work? Not what society expects from you. Have you reached your next life goal? Not the goal your sister thinks you should’ve hit three years ago. Are you a better version of you than this time last year?
If so, celebrate and rest in that. If not, ask yourself what went wrong or what changed and re-route. This is healthy comparison.
4). Know your worth.
There are thousands of factors that go into making an individual into who they are. No two people have the same personality, family background, brain dominance, natural attributes and skills, geographic location, socio-economic status, or cultural influence. Because of this – comparing yourself to others sets you up for failure. You are essentially comparing an apple to an orange.
God can use you to accomplish His plans. He can take your weaknesses and turn them into something beautiful. He can magnify your strengths and use them abundantly.”God has given you a spiritual gift from his variety of gifts to use for His glory.” – 1 Peter 4: 10
You have to know and believe that as a daughter of God, you are enough.